Case History: The Relationship Expert Who Finally Discovered Herself

As an accomplished big-city mediator, Chris was no stranger to interpersonal relationships.

Her job was to masterfully help those she worked with identify important issues, clarify misunderstandings, explore solutions, and negotiate a settlement rather than having a costly, time-consuming trial.

At the time I was giving my seminar on Relationships. Given the work she did, I could understand why she signed up.

Yet, interestingly, for all her intricate experience with people, she couldn’t see what was going on within herself.




The Problem: Old Stuff

Often there are things going on behind-the-scenes in our inner lives that cost us big time.

They’re underlying ideas about ourselves and the outside world that we don’t know we have. And they show up in ways that seem to sabotage our best efforts.




Tell-Tale Clues
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How can you tell if you're throwing sand into the gears of your life? Start noticing what’s bothering you and ask yourself these 3 questions:


• Is it something you’ve noticed before?

• Is there a repeating pattern playing out through people and experiences like personal relationships and work? Your health? Your finances? What stresses you out? How you feel about the world?

 • Do you sometimes feel like you’re moving backwards instead of forward or plateaued out?




The Cost to Her and Those Around Her

​Reflecting, I’ve wondered what Chris’ life could have been like had she discovered what she did about herself years before.

How much happier she could have been. The time and frustration she could have saved herself. How much more she could have enjoyed her family or better served her clients.

Being able to help her empower herself to free herself from an issue that had dogged her for decades was a wonderful win across the board.

Here's what she said to me about the experience:
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"Something happened in the seminar that changed everything for me – everything.

I had an issue for thirty years that I could not figure out which I can now see.

I can only assume it has something to do with the energy you carry . . .  a godsend."

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​How Much You Matter

Remember. Everything you do matters from a big picture perspective.

You have no idea how profound the effects are when you do something positive for yourself. And because it ripples outward, others.


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Takeaways:
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1. What's one thing can you do today to help you understand yourself better?

2. What one positive action can you do now to start that process?


Asking yourself the bulleted questions in the Tell-Tale Clues paragraph above can be a good start.

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Photo: Amy Hirschib