As an accomplished big-city mediator, Chris was no stranger to interpersonal relationships.
Her job was to masterfully help those she worked with identify important issues, clarify misunderstandings, explore solutions, and negotiate a settlement rather than having a costly, time-consuming trial.
At the time I was giving my seminar on Relationships. Given the work she did, I could understand why she signed up.
Yet, interestingly, for all her intricate experience with people, she couldn’t see what was going on within herself.
The Problem: Old Stuff
Often there are things going on behind-the-scenes in our inner lives that cost us big time.
They’re underlying ideas about ourselves and the outside world that we don’t know we have. And they show up in ways that seem to sabotage our best efforts.
How can you tell if you're throwing sand into the gears of your life? Start noticing what’s bothering you and ask yourself these 3 questions:
• Is it something you’ve noticed before?
• Is there a repeating pattern playing out through people and experiences like personal relationships and work? Your health? Your finances? What stresses you out? How you feel about the world?
• Do you sometimes feel like you’re moving backwards instead of forward or plateaued out?
The Cost to Her and Those Around Her
Reflecting, I’ve wondered what Chris’ life could have been like had she discovered what she did about herself years before.
How much happier she could have been. The time and frustration she could have saved herself. How much more she could have enjoyed her family or better served her clients.
Being able to help her empower herself to free herself from an issue that had dogged her for decades was a wonderful win across the board.
Here's what she said about the experience:
"Something happened in the seminar that changed everything for me – everything.
How Much You Matter
Remember. Everything you do matters from a big picture perspective.
You have no idea how profound the effects are when you do something positive for yourself. And because it ripples outward, others.
1. What's one thing can you do today to help you understand yourself better?
2. What one positive action can you do now to start that process?
Asking yourself the bulleted questions in the Tell-Tale Clues paragraph above can be a good start.
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Copyright ©2021 Catherine Lenard
Photo: Amy Hirschib
"Life is a State of Mind"
These are the closing words from the movie Being There with Peter Sellers and Shirley MacLaine.
Simple-minded Chance (Peter Sellers), a gardener who has resided in the Washington, D.C., townhouse of his wealthy employer for his entire life and been educated only by television, is forced to vacate his home when his boss dies.
While wandering the streets, he encounters business mogul Ben Rand, who assumes Chance to be a fellow upper-class gentleman.
Soon Chance is ushered into high society, and his unaffected gardening wisdom makes him the talk of the town.
Chance (great name considering the story) was open - unaffected by judgements about what could or couldn't happen.
When you free yourself from self-judgement, criticism, and underlying beliefs that are messing with you and getting in your way, you open up the space for miracles to happen.
• The movie promotion illustration is of the Vanderbilt Biltmore Mansion in Asheville, NC
• It was the setting for part of the movie, filmed in 1979
• It's the largest house in the US at 179,000 square feet
• I visited the mansion in 2017 with my mom, a trip inspired by the lifestyle of the Downton Abbey PBS Series
PERSONAL FUN FACT
• I was complimented by the heiress of the Biltmore Estate on my writing expertise
Since this was completely unexpected, a factor of being open to possibility?
What's your state of mind?
What do you think is possible for you?
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